I realized that I was/am a complete bitch for saying all those things about Casey. He did all those nice things for me, even wanted to pay for my lunch, and how do I repay him? By talking shit about him...I'm horrible and I can't believe I went that low. Yes, he may be a momma's boy but it's not entirely his fault, that's how he was raised and how he is and I can't change that and I shouldn't want to either. He's been so good to me all this time and the least I should do is be happy that he's not some jerk trying to take advantage of me. He might be taking his time and not doing things at "normal" speed, but whats normal anyway? At least he gives me space and isn't around all the time and he's respectful and all those other great qualities he has. He may not be a man yet, but I don't think I'm a woman yet either. I'm still a girl, and I'm trying to grow up way too fast. I need to slow down. I'm only seventeen and I guess the time for a "serious relationship" isn't here yet and I should accept whats being offered to me. Maybe along the way we'll both mature and the young relationship will blossom into something neither of us expected. But for now, we're still learning, especially when neither of us have ever been in a relationship and we both don't know what we're doing.
Casey, if you ever read this, I can't express how sorry I am for being so selfish and only thinking about myself and not even taking into consideration how you might be feeling. I'm really trying to change all this bad habits and I want this to work but I get a bit impatient sometimes, more so when things don't go my way.
