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Monday, October 24, 2011

I wasn't gonna, but I feel like I need to or I'm gonna blow up

Before I start, I picked my senior quote! I was going to end up putting "why not?", but I decided not to and went instead with this: "If some people manage to break free of the box, what makes you think I won't?". Sadly though, now I want to go back and add "try" at the end ._.

ANYWAYS,
I feel like shit. All day I've worrying about stupid crap that I shouldn't be worrying about and I hate it. I hate this! I'm only seventeen, I shouldn't be worrying about silly little drama right now.
The thing is that apparently Yessenia thinks I'm mean and probably doesn't like me anymore because of the whole french email thing, according to Anabel. I talked to Casey about it and he told me that Yessenia was all mad at him all the time now and that he asked her why. She said all this stuff and now I'm all wtf. She has him every other day, AND HE'S MY BOYFRIEND! I understand they're friends and "bros over hoes" but we still have equal amounts of time with him. And they still text! More than he does with me!

I don't understand the problem,...and I want to talk to him cause today I told him to go with her and then he didn't have lunch with me and ended up going somewhere else. Why is he being so immature?
-___-

The problem is that I don't want Yessenia to be mad at me, I want him to share equal amounts of time, and I want him to say what's on his mind dammit! We need to discuss how we share our time with each other and ourselves. I get that he wants to be with me, and I wanna be with him too, but I don't want this to happen. I don't want him to forget about this friends, and I don't want the same thing happening to me either.

Ugh. Maybe I was better off single. Maybe everyone was right. I sure as heck would have been done with online school by now...

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Today was a great day! :)

I woke up this morning and was feeling kind of “bleh”, but it was mostly because I was tired. Four hour sleep, ftw! We went to Sacred Heart for mass at 8am and then we got home at 9 and started doing some chores. After that I talked to Casey for an hour and my poor baby is incredibly sick :( I wish we could have spend the day together so I could take care of him. I wouldn’t know how to make him feel better, but I could have tried to make him some decent chicken soup, hot lemon tea, and while we cuddled we could have watched some star wars. I miss him and I hope he gets better soon :(

Anyways, Anabel called me and told me that we were going homecoming dress shopping and I was like “fuuuuuhhh”, cause I was planning on doing online school all day –.-

BUT, we went to dolphin and looked around and then I realized that I probably wasn’t gonna find my dress there. Anabel had seen this add in International Mall about this chain store called “Group USA” that had bridal dresses and all these other kind of formal event dresses, and luckily Anabel’s dad didn’t find anything at Dolphin so we went to International. (Btw, I got this cute dress at Forever 21 but it doesn’t look good on me D: and Anabel, Cachi, and I got some cute matching socks :P)

I’ve never had that “falling in love at first sight with something” moment; BUT I HAD IT TODAY. I FOUND THE PERFECT DRESSS. IT’S PERFECT IN EVERY WAY. The color’s a soft pink, “blush” to be exact, and the design and style and everything is exactly what I was looking for. BUT, I felt like my arms looked really nasty and I didn’t buy it. We left to other stores and tried on some other dresses and looked around at Macy’s and we found this black one. It looked really good on me and I liked it, I admit; but it wasn’t the pink one. It wasn’t the perfect dress. I was sooooo disappointed, I just felt like I had something perfect and I couldn’t have it. But why not? Why did I have to settle for the black dress? It was a really nice dress, but it wasn’t the one I wanted. Cachi flipped a coin and I got tails.  All signs were indicating for me to get the black dress, but I didn’t want it. While I was trying it on one more time, the penny fell. I looked down and it was heads face up. Right then and there I knew I had to go find it, that was it. I went back to the store, almost running and really happy. I bought the dress :) And the price was perfect too! $69.99!!! (The black was $149.99) I noticed when I got home that there were some imperfections, but it didn’t matter. I had found the dress for me :) And my arms didn’t even matter anymore to me, it felt okay.

Anabel decided she wanted to go to Homecoming too and that added to my happiness :D We’re thinking about renting a limo and getting 2 other couples so the price would be reasonable for everyone. Maybe Shelby, and a possible date? ;) We’ll see! We went to dinner and there weree some fine ass guys there….HOT DAMN. But I miss my boo <3

AND MY SEEESTERS TOO!!!!! We gots to hang out soon

Pride & prejudice w/ colin firth

Downtown abbey

Boardwalk empire

Saturday, October 22, 2011

All I want..

is for this friggin’ printer to work.

to find mah dang senior quote.

to finish friggin’ online school cause its ruining my life.

for Mr. Haney to be forever alone.

 

and all I wanted was for my boyfriend to come over and cuddle :c

IS DAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!?!

Apparently. Apparently…

Now I’m home alone on a saturday night. I’m just tooooo cool sometimes –.-

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

I’m not even in the mood to do anything anymore..

I’m the big bad bitch.

I, apparently, sent out a very nasty email last night to the French club members and I am now the big bad bitch.

I decided that I’m no longer sending out emails, it wasn’t even my job to begin with. Whatevs. I called Tammy and told her to take over since she’s secretary and whatnot. SO NO MORE MARIA LASHING OUT AGAISNT NO ONE.

I went to Michaels and bought the jar and ribbon I needed for my gift to Casey. Then I went to Walgreens to buy the candy (m&ms, gummy bears that turned out nasty, lifesaver gummies, and yogurt covered pretzels), and lastly to publix to buy funfetti and brownie mix for Leann’s cupcakes!

I am determined to finish online school, to not continue to waste another minute of my life, to do more productive things, to be a better person, to love more (especially to those that are worthy of it), to forgive, to move on.

My mom just came home from a Mary Kay meeting, and she makes me so proud. She’s so beautiful and smart and she’s always wanting to better herself. No matter what, she’s always out there trying to give it her all, trying to find ways to achieve her life’s purpose. She never gives up, she never loses hope. And when she gets down, she never loses her faith. Imagine that. Not conforming and settling for anything, and yet the world wants to turn against you….but my mom always finds a way to prove everyone wrong. I know she gets moody and temperamental at times, but I wish to be like her. A woman thats always on the go, always learning new things, always appreciating every little thing she has. And she never complains. Never whines about her getting too little or the short end of the stick. I’m no walk in the park, and for her to wanna even feed me I’m surprised.

I love you more than anything in this world, Mom. YOU are my hero and the best thing I have <3

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Senior quotes

 

What do I want to be remembered as?

What motivational quote defines me and my future?

I aint even know ._.

"The horizon is out there somewhere, and you just keep chasing it, looking for it, and working for it." Bob Dole

Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.
- John F. Kennedy

Monday, October 17, 2011

Ya’lll…wuz going on?

Is it break-up season, or is it just me?

I dunno. Some strong lasting relationships have ended and I’m kind of scared.

It’s not because I’m doubtful of my relationship, its just that those that you expect to last for a considerable amount of time have now ended and I’m left here in awe.

I love my baby though so…

“Love don’t pay the bills”

Sunday, October 16, 2011

“I would call you up every saturday night and we’d both stay and sing "heeere we gooo agaiiin”

Yesterday, I went to iHop with Ana banana, Shameka, Alyssa, and Roxanne. I had a great time :) S

 

 

And now 1973 has been forever stuck in my heaD.

Friday, October 14, 2011

“awaaaaaaaake my soooooul, awaaaaake my soooouul…”

I found out today, through Steph, that Casey really likes Mumford&Sons…when she told me that I think I cried a little inside :’) I think I fell in love with him even more

Today was an interesting day. Took a quiz in Barnett’s for AP gov and I think I aced it ;) Then in Kott’s class for AP calc we reviewed some things and I thnk I did pretty good on my quiz there too. After class, Shelby and I walked downstairs and then Casey and Sophie were waiting for me already by the main office so we could go do our thang for French club. The treasurer wasn’t there so then we went to Cayo’s class and apparently Cynthia and Tammy are in there :D Kids had already brought in money to pay for their French shirts and then we started discussing French club stuff like the whole T-shirt issue, money, blah blah blah. When we left to go to Blanco to go turn in the money that we had, some girl left his office crying and he made us go look for her –_- he got so pissed when we came back and told him we couldn’t find her. But luckily once we went to go find her again she was by the stairs, still crying, on the phone with her boyfriend and around her friends. Assuming from the weed on top of Blanco’s desk, the girl had been doing some sketchy stuff. Anywhoz,went to Seward’s class and then I asked to go to Mendez to pick up my essay and she told me to go Remmen to ask her about the Gates scholarship and it sounds SO GOOD so I’m definitely applying :D I did some French stuff on the computers in class and then the bell rang so I went to go meet up with Casey by the vending machines because Steph and I were going dress shopping for homecoming! He never got there, and it turns out he was in the officer with Pearson so I went to go look for him and then I saw Ms. Donna there so we started talking and she’s so cute and awesome lol. Casey finished and I said goodbye and we left. After we dropped off Casey and his mom at the car dealer, Steph and I went to Dadeland and the car ride was really nice. It got quiet at times, but I didn’t mind the silence. I had a really good time trying on all those dresses and bonding with my sis-in-law :) Unfortunately we didn’t find anything so then we were on our way to southland. We talked a lot actually and she even told me about her past relationship and all these other things. It twas’ not awkward at all. I really wanted to spend some time with Casey though so I told her I didn’t think we’d have enough time to go to southland so went to his house and we hung out for awhile, but it was too short ._. I miss him already. I miss him too much. I never thought this would happen to me oh mah damn. My mom got to his house pretty fast so I said goodbye to everyone and he dropped me off at the car and I wanted to kiss him goodbye but then steph came out and I feel uncomfortable with people watching me so I got in the car and we left away.

Now I’m home. Excited about this scholarship, a little sad about not spending time with Casey, but overall I’m great. My period came today and I had some pretty bad cramps but they’re gradually going away. I’m going to go finish online school now…yay.

Lend me your hand and we'll conquer them all
But lend me your heart and I'll just let you fall
Lend me your eyes I can change what you see

Thursday, October 13, 2011

I seriously need to update this….

I’m downloading the Big Time Rush album as I speak…

I’m da cooliiiest ~

Friday, October 7, 2011

The member of the wedding

I love this movie so much. It’s too good.

I liked it more than I thought I would.

 

‘I think I have a vague idea what you were driving at,’ she said. ‘We all somehow caught. We born this way or that way and we don’t know why. But we caught anyhow. I born Berenice. You born Frankie. John Henry born John Henry. And maybe we wants to widen and bust free. But no matter what we do we still caught. Me is me and you is you and he is he. We each one of us somehow caught all by ourself.’

They are the we of me.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

:>

Casey and I were walking towards Seward’s classroom in south campus when he suddenly told me he had to ask me something. I always panic whenever he says that, I never know what he’s gonna ask.

“Will you go to homecoming with me?”

My reaction: “Really? You wanna go to homecoming?”

Lol I’m ridiculous.

But I said yes :3

Later I realized that this probably means I need a budget for the dress, shoes, accessories, and I have to think about my hair…AND DA TICKET.

…yup. 

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Aww…

Tia Luz is too cute. She called me and left me a voicemail telling me how much she missed me and wanted to talk to me :>

Love you tooooo :*

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

They were once enemies

And now they’re the best of friends.

I’m slowly watching as my best friends goes into the arms of someone else. She promised everything would be the same between us, I guess she meant the same as before. So long best friend, so long. I wish I had the effort to keep fighting for our friendship, but I always end up the jealous bitch and I’m tired of it. Too bad you don’t even notice it.