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Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Happy leap day!

Life....life is good.
And God? God is too wonderful.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Le Weekend ~

Such a great weekend.
  • Did awesome with the whole "teaching the teachers" lesson plan at the teacher meeting.
  • Did some HW, not all, but more than I've ever done on a saturday night.
  • Made an awesome love album for Mrs. Remmen
  • JAMMED TO MY LOVE ALBUM IN THE CAR
  • watched The King's Speech saturday night
  • Cooked/baked today for lunch: mushroom baked chicken and cinnamon roll pie
  • shared lunch with the napoles and mah momma/stepsiter/stepdad
  • went to Bayside with the Napoles' and had a great time :D
  • date with Sophie as we watched the Oscar's together over skype
  • THE ARTIST WON :'''''')
  • totally worth staying up late

And I ain't even read for AP english. Hmm....

I was thinking on the car ride back home from Bayside, and Miami-Dade honors seems like a really good option right now. I love my family toooo much to just miss out and I maybe I haven't given Miami too much of a chance? I dunno. Just a thought.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Not too much to ask for, right?

All I want right now is apple pie. Warm, gooey, rich, curl-your-ties, moanin-worthy applie pie. With, perhaps, a small scoop of vanilla bean ice cream. Or just vanilla would be nice.

Yeah....that's all I want.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Note to self:

It's okay to be sad, feel sad. But don't let it get to you, or in other words, don't let that ruin your day. Keep your goals in check and remember what it is that you want to do and what you have to do in order to get there.

THANK YOU, JESUS, for giving me the chance to breathe.

Just breathe.

Too much emotions

My arms are fat. I am sad. I have no energy. I want to go to bed. I want to scream. I want to cry.

But I have homework to do.

Senior breakfast today

And now that I'm home, why do I have this...sadness over me? This lethargic and emptyness that took over me when I got home, I don't know where it came from. It's my fault though, for ditching my friends. Maybe thats why I feel like this.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Senior breakfast tomorrow

Dress? Check.
Shoes? Uh...Check!
Hair in place? Check!
Avoiding ex? NO.

The one person I wanted to avoid this entire trip, to just enjoy without any awkward stares or awkwards greetings or anything awkward can't be avoided. Why? Because out of the four buses in this whole trip, we're going on the same bus. Riding for 40 minutes together. I won't feel comfortable knowing he's somewhere around me.

Why why why why why why why why

Monday, February 20, 2012

In case I die of happyness..

Before I do, I want the world to know that tonight I have made the greatest vegeterian chili. IT IS SO GOOD. (Even though I didn't come up with this recipe, I did improve and kind of made it my own since instead of adding another can of tomato sauce I added salsa :3)

Yep. And this Quinoa with Brown rice is scrumptiously delicious!!!!!!!!

WASSUP, FOOD NETWORK

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Three things I know right now:

I can't wait to go grocery shopping tomorrow.
I want to start traveling already to be in company of out-of-this-world food and wine.
I'm pleasantly happy.

Always a post about the good ol' silly little boys

After the friday night incident on my socially awkwardness around guys, something stood out to me: if im not ugly, if i seem like a nice girl, then why would someone not approach me?

Saturday night, after Diana, her parents, and I got back from the Keys and our adventure, we were watching the Cheetah girls and singing to our old jams. We didn't finish watching it cause my mom wanted me home so I said goodnight to Diana's parents and she took me home. We stopped by at Menchie's and the guy that was working there was clearly making eye contact with Diana and they were flirting and all that junk. I was like "what, do I have something in my teeth that I can't be noticed?". We took our bowls and sat down. Through the eating and the car ride to my house, she said that I give off this "im not interested, fuck off" vibe. Whcih, surprised me at first, but then I was like...oh. That may be true. She said guys like to make a girl feel protected and that when someone looks at me you see this independent girl who doesn't need somebody to pull her together cause I have my thoughts elsewhere.

I need to start socializing a bit more. Not that I wanna be a whore, but dang...

GREAT GREAT GREAT WEEK. LET 2012 BRING ON THESE GOOD TIMES!!!!

When does a week start, on a Sunday or Monday? If it's Monday, then this has been an amazing week so far :>>>

I thought Valentine's day was going to be a drag this week, actually I felt like it was genuinely going to be a good day. AND IT WAS A GREAT DAY! Lindsay made me gnocchi with meat sauce for lunch, oreo truffles for dessert and a cute note saying she was funna bring me homemade key lime pie for wednesday :D Tammy gave me the cuuuuuutest note and then I watched the Time Traveler's Wife with Anabel <3

Wednesday was the much-required me day, I really needed to just slow down and my mom made me some chicken noodle soup :')

On Thursday, my mom and I went to an appointment about this whole child support junk and the lady said everything should be resolved in a matter of three months. My dad is not getting away with it this time. Even though I start feeling bad about enforcing this money situation on him, but then I remember all the hard times my moms had to go through and it's not fair to her, or me.
My mom and I bonded on the train ride back home, even if meant just holding me while I read. School was breeezy ~

Friday I went to the movies (on a date) with Tuty and Yoel and his friends. Yoel was going on a date with this new girl he likes, who apparently are now bf/gf, and his friends to watch the vow and since I know Tuty wasn't gonna like that we went and saw Ghost Rider, which was dumb but he and him had a nice date :3 After the movie Yoel snuck out to the Crepemaker without letting me know. Tuty and I were in the parking lot without knowing what to do so we eneded up going to the Crepe Maker. "Is this the crepemaker?" No, its subway" Lololol, we ordered a nutella crepe. After a while I noticed that one of the workers there was really cute and I tried to start talking to him but I wasn't in my comfort zone, which was why I wanted to go for it. But I'm nowhere near flirty and being myself would just show my even more naivveness and awkwardnesss that I am. I need to start socializing a bit more.

Saturday....Diana and I keep talking about doing things and they actually happen. WE WENT FRIGGIN' PARASAILING. AND IT WAS MAGICAL. TOOOO MAGICAL. Like riding on a Swingset in the sky :''''''') And then we finally went to the Wafflehouse!!!!!!! It was toooooo wonderful!! Surprisingly, Juan was there O.o As in, Juan from Middle School, Juan from yoel's baseball team....that Juan o.o How do you find someone all the way in the Keys after you don't see them in Homestead? After that, Diana's parents took us to where her dad works and it was so cayoooote and I asked Diana how much it costs to stay at the resort for a night and her dad said"300 dollars" HELL NOO. BUT DEN, her mom said that they offered him three free nights and that she would try to convince him to let us use one of those nights :DDDDDDDDD OMG DIS GON BE AWESOME. And now Diana wants to go to Calle Ocho, she want me to die or sumthing...

Sunday. My day just started and I'm wondering what the day will lead to...

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Valentines day

I dreaded today. Actually, I always dread February's in general. I just don't like anything about valentines day, not because I'm alone, but because it's a commercialized holidays and people actually fall for it.
BUT today has been a great day :D Lindsay made me gnocci with meat sauce and oreo truffles :>, Tammy gave me the cutest valentines day card :3, Judy gave me a box of chocolates c:, i got to deliver goodies, Mrs. remmen told me i was a semi-finalist for the salute to education scholarship and its just been a good day :)

After I came home from the gym, my mom gave me some letters and one of them was to let me know that I'm not a soroptimist winner aka I didn't get the scholarship. I was sad, but then I was realized, its okay. I'm not the person they're looking for and it's not my fault. I'm just....not the one. I hope the people that do get it appreciate it :)

Sunday, February 12, 2012

People should really listen to me more often...

I told Ana a long time ago that there were three places you shoud never meet guys. I don't remember the other two, but the flea market was definitely one of them.

AND WHAT DOES SHE DO? Get a crush on one of the guys there!

WUZ GOIN' ON.

The train has left the station, but I'm not in it.

The Train as in the small crush I had on that guy. Not that he doesn't seem like a sweet boy, I'm sure he is, just that it wouldn't work out. We're just on different....levels.

Airplane? Sigh. I'm still working on it, but I'm sure that I soon will move on.

(Anabel and I have different codenames for all of the guys we've liked. My codenames are associated with travel, and hers is with food. Casey was suitcase, and that is all I shall reveal for now)

On to brighter news:

This weekend was bittersweet. Friday, Diana texted me telling me she wanted to hang out with me instead of Andres. I was shocked since it didn't make sense on why she would pick me over sexy Andres. Later on she texts me to tell me that she really needs to see me and that it's bad. She said she was going to pick me up from my bus stop so we could talk. When I get in the car I find her crying and I knew it had to do with Andres. He chose living his single life in the fraternity over being settled down with her. FUCKING ASSHOLE. Why would he get her hopes up like that and then leave her? She was so happy the day before. Singing love songs, twirling around, smiling, laughing....and then crying the next day over this douchebag. And yet, you know what? She still puts herself out there, looking for love wherever it may be. No matter what she's been through, there she is ready to love again. We went to Wendys after that and then Menchie's to eat some froyo. Then we went to volunteer at the church festival, the dessert booth, and I got a call from tia Maritza. Tia Maritza NEVER calls me so I knew it had to be important. I answered and she was like "hey, I'm at dave n busters" and I was like "awesome...you guys having fun?" and then she proceeds to tell me "guess who I just saw?" and I couldn't think of anyone so i said idk and then BAM she says "Casey, your ex, with another girl, chinese looking". AWESOME. THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME KNOW. I wasn't mad, upset, or excited. I was sad, it was bittersweet. I didn't expect him to move on so soon and I was also happy that he seemed like he was doing better. I didn't believe my aunt at first, but then she sent me pictures. I think Shelby was in one of them? Meaning they were celebrating her birthday, meaning I was not invited, meaning we weren't as close as I thought we were. I know things would have been awkward, but a little "hey, im doing this thing at dave n busters, but i dont know how you feel about going cause casey's gonna be there." I probably wouldn't have gone, but its the thouhgt that counts. Ugh. I went home with Diana and we checked my UF admission status. They denied me. Didn't even get in for the summer. I wasn't upset because I didn't even feel like going there, but it was still bittersweet. I went to my aunts house 15 minutes later cause I had to babysat Yoel and chris since they were working late again and thats it for friday.

Saturday, went to church early and did mah thang. The kids weren't focused and I was still blank from last night. After church, I went home and cleaned my room. Jackie said that Daddy was gonna pick me up, and I was soo happy cause I wanted to see them! Daddy and I bonded on our way to Hialeah and then he took us to Taco bell :D MORE BONDING! I went to Jackies house after that and we were getting ready to go see the Vow. Daddy went to go pick up escarleth and then came and got us and we were on our way to Muvico. It wasn't AMAZING, but I liked it alot. I even cried a few times ._. Then we went to Kohls and tried on clothes and wheeled escarleth around in the wheelchair :p Daddy pickeed us up and took us to the fair. I had a nice time, AND I HAVE FRIED OREOS FOR DA FIRST TIME!!!!!!!!! I was having a mini heart-attack after eating just half.....but it was darn good :) After the fair we bought some movies and then went home to Escarleth's and watched Breaking Dawn.
Ivan didn't let me sleep.

Sunday, woke up and bonded for half and hour with Escarleth; we be gettin' deeeep. We got ready for church and tia Juanita and daddy were there! After church, we went back to tio Alcides' house and finished watching Breaking Dawn, it was okay to be honest. Afterwards we went to Ivan's little league game and ate some BK. We came home and then I knocked out on one of the bunk beds. My mom picked me up and then we went to Yessenia's aunts house. We had some fried pork and then played Dominos.

Now I'm home and I have to do so much stufffffffffffffffffffff...........including update other stuff on my blog. Hmm..

Saturday, February 11, 2012

My faith and relationship with God needs to grow stronger

My mom's right, I don't even know where my life is headed to. Everything's a mess and I'm not helping myself out by helping everyone elses needs and not my own. I've been thinking about stupid bullshit and here I am, falling slowly. Point me home? We still have time...

I didn't get into UF. I didn't get accepted. I'm a little disappointed, but it was my fault. I should have tried harder. Besides, I didn't really wanna go there. It didn't feel like home. Everyone else wanted to go there, and I kind of decided to go since it was a nice school and my friends wanted to go there. Which then I guess isn't so bad that I didn't get accepted.

Then, while I was working at the church festival, tia Maritza and Luis call me to tell me that they're at Dave n Busters and that they saw Casey with another girl. How nice! After all the trouble we went through to just go out to ONE place, aka the movies at Dolphin, you're allowed to go everywhere else with people your family hasn't met. BULLSHIT. FUCKING BULLSHIT.
Not just that, but it's also bittersweet that he's moving on. I'm kind of happy he's moving on, but why so fast? Guys just don't give a fuck and there not as emotional as we are, even though I felt like i had the pants in the relationship...

I was reading the Bible, chapter 22, and he's right. If I think I'm all great and powerful, how's that gonna help me with God? If I don't do good deeds, etc, why should I expect him to forgive me?
I'm sorry, I'll be nicer to my stepsister. I'll focus on you more, I really want to. Please, please...don't leave me.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

tbh

I'm really nervous. I'm scared. I feel...lost. Like something's missing?

I went to Chili's on Thursday afterschool with Alyssa, Roxanne, Stephanie, Monique, Monica, and their friend Chris with the mole. It was nice and relaxing. I saw Cindy and Rene from middle school, but yet I didn't approach them, and they didn't either. After that, Alyssa took me home and then I knocked out. But then my stepsister was being loud as usual and I couldn't go back to sleep. Awesome, right? Well, anyways, I went to the gym, did mah thang, and then I checked Alena's essay because she's applying to the Art Institute in Miami. I know she's getting in and I'm sooo proud of her :') My mom got mad at me because I'm irresponsible, and I know I am, I really do have to prioritize, but it's so hard D: I picked up yoel and christopher at the baseball park an hour late and then my mom took us to their house since I was supposed to sleepover and supervise them. I talked to Yoel about high school and how he needs to focus, (he's failing his core classes and he's on probation). I had a good night sleep that night, except that my body doesn't let me sleep for more than 8 hours grrr

Today was nice too. Watched the Adjustment Bureau with my cousins and I loved it! I went to olive garden for lunch with Anabel, Alexandria and her sister Francis, but had to leave asap cause I left yoel stranded at the barbershop. Then we went to their house, cleaned a bit and then I left at 5 cause my mom wanted to do some errands. After we cleaned and did all of this stuff, my mom took me to Menchie's to meet up with Diana. We had some ice cream and then we came to Yoel's to watch Meet the browns, still funny :p We didn't finish it with her because she had to get "closure" with Andres. I really don't get good vibes from him. I'm sure he's a good guy, but he's just not what Diana needs or deserves. I hope she makes up her mind soon because honestly right now I'm worried about Moises. He's been soooooo good to her and he doesn't deserve to be treated this way.

I know I'm in the mood for some lovin' right now, as in I miss the little perks that relationships bring, but more than anything I want to be single. It's uncomplicated and I don't need all of that drama in my life. I have to much to worry about and focus on and that is going to be the last thing I need right now.

What I need right now is Jesus. Please, never let me go.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Traveling

There's so much out there. When I see pictures of different cities and towns, to think that the backgroung and scenery actually exists....asdjsdghdklfgsd.

I have so much to learn. So little time.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

three things i know right now

I'm in the mood for a good night kiss.
I have homework that needs to be done.
I want to go on an airplane, to at least Arizona.