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Sunday, January 23, 2011

Online school

Totally bombed that test…with a 69 ;o ALMOST THERE, BY ONE DAMN POINT.

And I really liked that chapter too…oh well, I’ll study harder for my final exam.

Friday, January 21, 2011

2nd semester

 

2ND SEM

 

I think I did much better this time around (except calculus ._.) But next semester will be even BETTER!

I CAN NEVER DO ANYTHING RIGHT

I was about to bake some coffee cupcakes and then i decided to make half the recipe: OKAY. Well, I guess half way through I forgot and instead of 1 1/2 eggs  i put in the 3 and now…my coffee cupcakes taste like eggs. AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

i have this friend

She’s the greatest; I’m so lucky to even know her. She reminds me of Mary from the movie “There’s something about Mary”. Everyone loves her and you can’t help it. She radiates this sunshine from just her smile and you want to get to know her just by looking at her cause you know she’ll never ever hurt you. She’s so nice to everyone and sometimes you wonder whether you’re just another friend or she really finds you special.

I wish we were closer…to be more like her. She literally brightens up your day just by one text saying a simple hello. And when she says how are you? You know she means it and she wants to know, not like others who simply say it because they feel its mandatory.

She’s the greatest. There’s just something about Aby.

during lunch

After Ana and Stephanie left, I started talking to Leanne and Kensley again and it was just comments here and there, some laughs. Then out of nowhere this guy that was sitting with us called me and asked me why i wasn’t joining in and why everyone was laughing but yet I chose to stay quiet and not smile. I froze, I didn’t know what to do. My first instinct was to get up and go to class since it was time to go anyway, and so I did. I felt like I had committed a crime and they were all accusing me, waiting for me to plead guilty. So i looked around and said “okay…well…uhh…I'll see you later guys…”

Now they probably think I’m some freak; why would I just run off like that without giving an easy answer like “oh, its nothing kind stranger. just thinking about all the loads of work i have to get done.”

Hmm…I will forever be awkward.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Horoscope of the day

 

Taurus

You need security more than most people -- emotional, financial and all manner of other kinds. Today is a good day to solidify what you've got and make sure that you feel good about the near-term future.

okay….whatever that means.

Hmm….

I want a couch in my room. A really cool one. Maybe I can convince my mom to get me a futon or something so I can have a couch by day and a…couch by night, who needs a bed? NOT ME. I have this really fancy schmancy antique bed but Its toooo big and takes up toooo much space in my room, so I think a futon is very much appreciated. My mom will probably say no though, she’ll guilt me into keeping the one I have now.

Bummer.

Naps are out of the question

I took one today for TWO HOURS and it was only supposed to last 15 minutes, according to my schedule. But lately I haven’t been following my schedule so obviously things are going to have to change!

I have a math test tomorrow, AP environmental test AND I'm finally going to the nursing home, exciting eh?

Then I come home…to nothing. To the lonely days of my life. Lol, sounds pretty dramatic, but its not. No biggy. I’ll probably bake tomorrow I hope and then Thursday will come by and THREE DAY WEEKEND. WOOOOOOOOOH.

Now, If only I could concentrate on this irrelevant homework.

Monday, January 17, 2011

2010…

All in all, it was an okay year. It wasn’t great, but it wasn’t entirely too shabby.

It started off with me watching 50 first dates, one of my top 5, and The notebook. And then the year slowly drifted on into a whole bunch of scenarios that didn’t seem too important at the time, but now looking back I realize that it definitely took a toll on me.

I forgave Lesther. Or maybe I already had a while ago, but we finally talked face to face. He said I was his sister and he never meant to hurt me, but he did and brothers protect there own, which he didn’t. I told him that things would never be the same and when I walked out I thought that that was the end to everything. Closure is what it was. Closure on unanswered questions, doubts, worries,…closure on part of my past. Even after everything, I forgive him and although I won’t admit it out loud, I do love him and I do wish him the best. Lately, things have been good between us. We acknowledge each other, a few laughs here and there, I talk to his girlfriend and everything seems to be under control.

My aunt Lucy died. To this day, things still don’t click in my head and her death doesn’t make sense to me. She was so young and beautiful and had the most caring heart that I had never thought possible. She would call me every birthday even though we was thousands of miles away and she would always make sure I was doing okay. But now she’s gone…all she’s left behind is a carved tombstone with her name and unwanted tears of pain. I will miss you so much. I’m never going to let go, because you will always be in my heart; most of all that smile and laugh of yours that would leave me gazing for hours.

New friendships and old friendships came into question. Would the old ones last? Would the new ones stick around? I still wonder, but I have an idea of where this is going.

2010 i succeeded in distancing myself from my family and I tried to keep them away as much as possible. But I realized, thanks to Dennis, that family is important. No matter what, we’re in this together and nothing will keep us apart. This weekend was incredible and I had so much fun with all of them. I hope that this year this bond only gets stronger. If only we all lived closer and together, I would have a blast with them all of the time and not only on special occasions. But oh well, this just makes me try harder in striving to stay together.

Last year was also a slack year in the education department. I tried to stick to the same unfocused plan that I’d always carry,  but I have come to realize that things have changed and that I’m no longer dealing with childish situations. Everything I do now impacts my future and I have to get up and take charge.

To end this long and not brief post, this year will be all about my happiness, the people that do matter, and my education. I need to focus on myself especially, which i never do, and learn how to be content being all myself (relationship wise).

Farewell to 2010 and to the old me, and cheers to the new year and upgraded version of myself.

Maria A Rivera

-___-

Omg…I’m a stupid little girl.

I let it all get to my head and then BAM I get carried away into this bungalow of fantasies and in the end it didn’t even mean anything. I knew deep down that it was unreal and that I was over thinking things, but I fell anyways. And now I feel dirty.

He has a girlfriend.

And I refuse to be a home wrecker, or anything related to that phrase.