My mom's right, I don't even know where my life is headed to. Everything's a mess and I'm not helping myself out by helping everyone elses needs and not my own. I've been thinking about stupid bullshit and here I am, falling slowly. Point me home? We still have time...
I didn't get into UF. I didn't get accepted. I'm a little disappointed, but it was my fault. I should have tried harder. Besides, I didn't really wanna go there. It didn't feel like home. Everyone else wanted to go there, and I kind of decided to go since it was a nice school and my friends wanted to go there. Which then I guess isn't so bad that I didn't get accepted.
Then, while I was working at the church festival, tia Maritza and Luis call me to tell me that they're at Dave n Busters and that they saw Casey with another girl. How nice! After all the trouble we went through to just go out to ONE place, aka the movies at Dolphin, you're allowed to go everywhere else with people your family hasn't met. BULLSHIT. FUCKING BULLSHIT.
Not just that, but it's also bittersweet that he's moving on. I'm kind of happy he's moving on, but why so fast? Guys just don't give a fuck and there not as emotional as we are, even though I felt like i had the pants in the relationship...
I was reading the Bible, chapter 22, and he's right. If I think I'm all great and powerful, how's that gonna help me with God? If I don't do good deeds, etc, why should I expect him to forgive me?
I'm sorry, I'll be nicer to my stepsister. I'll focus on you more, I really want to. Please, please...don't leave me.
