we all have a story to tell.

yesterday, i was going through some home videos and i found something i didn't expect: a video in which my brother was filmed. I saw him for the first time, a small boy about 8 years old. He seems so bubbly, so happy..and tears escaped my eyes as he said "mi hermanita". He knows im alive..but the question is, is he? I have a brother and it hurts to know I may never see him.

gilmore girls isnt on today

i should be able to finish my homework on time, at least i hope so. my printers out of ink and i need to go to my aunts house yet again--hopefully she doesnt mind. btw, i passed my CPT exam and according to SAS i just might get in, as long as i keep my grades up :o. Pre-calculus, you are killing me

could you be loved - bob marley<3

reggae has been going in my ears and out all afternoon. its so relaxing and you can definitely feel the simple yet big message all these artists are singing. i can't even explain how great it makes me feel, i even dedicated a whole playlist<3 anywho, im feeling much better today. i wonder where the ice cream man has been lately..his annoyance has been missed. and the mailman? i havent seen him lately. his booty hugging shorts no longer support his firm butt unfortunately! he's wearing those hideous long pants, again. hmm...whats a blog for anyway? is there something specific im supposed to be talking about right now? or do i just drag on about my non important, un-fascinating life? there should be a handbook for this..

a slap in the face is what i need

i complain too much and sometimes want too much, too much of what i don't need. my mind is juggled and my soul feels empty. i wish i knew exactly what i wanted..or maybe what i need. or maybe its just me. my room looks better now and i hope im making good mistakes. im off, my blog has been too depressive for awhile now. ill come back when im in a better mood.

i need a job -_________-

my mom gave my 5 dollars for lunch, and she told me she wanted some change in return. i hate when she asks for change. does she not know my body needs to be nurtered? hopefully she forgets because i do have change but my wallet needs some lovin♥

decided to start, AGAIN.

So its been a while, definitely. Im now a "woman", or at least my latin heritage likes to think so. Light blue nail polish lies on my finger nails as i make a fresh start..again. I don't know what to write...really. I wish i were more childish and speak with a more open-minded mind as i did before. But i can't. Reality hits my head hard and the thoughts of the world out there never cease to disappear. I wish i were funnier, but im not. Today wasn't such a bad day as a monday should be, even though my milkshake had more sugar than it should have had and i could still taste the chunky spoiled milk as the shake passed my throat (when your mom tells you to wash your sippy cup, do it. especially if you had milk in it). The breeze outside is wonderful and i love how it dances around my hair. I wish winter were here sooner, not christmas or thanksgiving, just the winter itself. I need a reason to wear sweaters and a reason to cry over sappy love stories. Thats it for now, if i want to succeed in life and become a fascinating part of society I have to do my french homework first! I'll try to sign in at least 3 days a week. Its the least i could do to my cluttered mind.

MOVE ON!

doesnt it bother you when you see a couple break up and then the girl or the boy can't move on because they feel so down?? YOU WENT OUT FOR A WHILE OUT OF THE MORE THAN 14 YEARS BEING SINGLE AND YOU CAN'T WITHOUT HER/HIM??? its pathetic. sure you loved the guy/girl, but why bother looking back for her or him if HE OR SHE DUMPED YOU????/ its frustrating. and it doesnt help that you have this so called person added on myspace and they publicize there life on bulletins and profile. GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE! MOVE ON! ugh. see, this is why i see no point in having a boyfriend! this is why im still single! why get into a relationship when its gonna end badly? nothing lasts these days. guys want fast not steady relationships. they want a free booty call because there to cheap or unthoughtful to just get the real phone and talk for a decent amount of time. so again, why bother?


moral of story: myspace is not private, so dont put your life on it because then the bored will read what you have to say. & also, stay single! what is so wrong with being single?!

ah.

so today? --->>>club picture day! ahh yes...if only i were in clubs. lmao nah im just in one and its not a big deal since its part of my health science class...so scratch that out of my extracurricular activities! there goes my social life...i mean i dont mind not going out every weekend and partying with my friends, i rather be at home resting and enjoying a good ol novel...seriously. maybe someday ill party til the sun comes up and get grounded for coming home late and smelling like beer without drinking any..but for now, im a little girl in a big high school with new responsibilites, old secrets, interesting friends, semi-sucky administration in a gigantic world. --and on top of that, i plan on saving from the world...HA, jk -__- but i do want to help..PEACE out!

new year : )

Woah! i havent signed on for the longest time ever. So life's ok. im not having any problems with friends or cousins for that matter. Things have been pretty calm. My best friend or ex or whatever she is right now and I are fixing whatever was broken...but whatever...whatever happens, happens. and now the greatest joy of all, school! hehe its not THAT bad, its just midterms. they can get on your nerves..especially if u did worse than you actually thought..or better? i just hope i get no less than a B in every class to actually enjoy my long weekend 8D


well tata for now..my blogs arent as good when textbooks surround me :P

pretty two-faced liars and rocks

just when i thought that our friendship was growing a little bit more and more from the last wreck...it came to a hauling stop when my phone rang. it was my sister informing me with information i took rather well compared to my other acts of jealousy. but ive learned that jealousy takes you nowhere and if they have friends, so do you. you know what, she can have that two-faced liar who can't seem to be straightforward even though she claims she is. and you know what sucks? this is all family related...drama never seeks to escape me. because on the other side, me and my best friend are on rocky roads right now. i guess its my fault for over-reacting, but if you had plans with your best friend, why would you exclude the fact from your mother where you were going? i just dont get it 8/ but on the bright side, im almost done with my big project and some friends are coming over from nicaragua. how exciting -_- also, winter's here :DD PLEASE LET THIS YEAR END WELL!!!!


signing off,
what the hell am i doing

bus ladies are freaks

so today...was just another day...it was just ok. something always goes wrong, i mean it has to doesn't it? well we had a fire drill but it wasn't that bad because i was in algebra. then in my last block my english teacher wasn't there, how exciting ^_^. and the conversations with Fernando, Jodie, Lety, Brandon, Carrel and Adam were completely unexplainable! ha ha "you see your parents naked?" no comment! and then when the bell rang and Jodie asked me to stay with her a while because her mom was picking her up. but i said no..cause well i had to take the bus. but i couldn't take the bus[her boyfriend came later, so im sure she was nowhere near lonely]. why you ask? because it came late..like an hour late. and I'm telling you...this lady is a freak 8/ who knows what she did in that hour or so that made me miss my amazing soap and make me so hungry since i only had bugles for lunch. but whatever, I'm drinking this carbonated coke right now. now gotta work on my religions project...ta ta.

boy-next-door..?

I've always gone with the idea that a girl should never fall hard or get too attached to a man because she'll end up hurting herself. She'll end up hurt by the conniving asshole she was with. So then how come i can't follow up my own advice now? How come when one tries the hardest...its just not possible? Hm..i can feel the soft rain on my hands and pruney toes like it was just yesterday. The darkness of the night with only the full moon above. The distant smell of crispy tacos, now put away thanks to the pouring rain. And the thing i remember the most, my warm fingers and hand tucked away nicely in his arms. The saddest part: this happened a year and a half ago..and we practically haven't talked since...and why is that? we live in different countries, different continents. Distance doesn't matter? Well...it shouldn't. But they guy is just a faint reminder of that one summer where i thought i was in love..or maybe it was..who knows. But one thing i do know is that everything happens for a reason. Someday I'll meet this charming prince again and he'll rescue me from my overly desperate need to run away from everything. He'll lock me with his eyes and kill me with his soul. The typical boy-next-door, literally. But that was when i was young, when i didn't know any better. Just desperate for attention and a little love from something I'd never tried. And i got it, but i warn thee, be careful what you wish for.

upgrade

so my last blog i deleted...it was just...i dont know...i needed a fresh start. something new for a new 09, an improved chick thats made drastic changes in the past year. i love who i was, but i dont think id like to go back and change it for what i have. ive lost many friends and made some new ones. im trying to save some friendships that mean alot to me...friendships i can imagine myself with in a few years. i dont know where im going, i dont know where my lifes headed to, i dont know what carreer path to take and i dont know if at all im a good person..sometimes people dont need to be reminded of what they do...but loved for who they are. im not your average girl, and at this point in my life..i try to be hopeful that maybe the other side of the grass is greener, and that maybe life has a meaning after all...thats all for the start of this new blog.

xoxo
much love,

just started...