All in all, it was an okay year. It wasn’t great, but it wasn’t entirely too shabby.
It started off with me watching 50 first dates, one of my top 5, and The notebook. And then the year slowly drifted on into a whole bunch of scenarios that didn’t seem too important at the time, but now looking back I realize that it definitely took a toll on me.
I forgave Lesther. Or maybe I already had a while ago, but we finally talked face to face. He said I was his sister and he never meant to hurt me, but he did and brothers protect there own, which he didn’t. I told him that things would never be the same and when I walked out I thought that that was the end to everything. Closure is what it was. Closure on unanswered questions, doubts, worries,…closure on part of my past. Even after everything, I forgive him and although I won’t admit it out loud, I do love him and I do wish him the best. Lately, things have been good between us. We acknowledge each other, a few laughs here and there, I talk to his girlfriend and everything seems to be under control.
My aunt Lucy died. To this day, things still don’t click in my head and her death doesn’t make sense to me. She was so young and beautiful and had the most caring heart that I had never thought possible. She would call me every birthday even though we was thousands of miles away and she would always make sure I was doing okay. But now she’s gone…all she’s left behind is a carved tombstone with her name and unwanted tears of pain. I will miss you so much. I’m never going to let go, because you will always be in my heart; most of all that smile and laugh of yours that would leave me gazing for hours.
New friendships and old friendships came into question. Would the old ones last? Would the new ones stick around? I still wonder, but I have an idea of where this is going.
2010 i succeeded in distancing myself from my family and I tried to keep them away as much as possible. But I realized, thanks to Dennis, that family is important. No matter what, we’re in this together and nothing will keep us apart. This weekend was incredible and I had so much fun with all of them. I hope that this year this bond only gets stronger. If only we all lived closer and together, I would have a blast with them all of the time and not only on special occasions. But oh well, this just makes me try harder in striving to stay together.
Last year was also a slack year in the education department. I tried to stick to the same unfocused plan that I’d always carry, but I have come to realize that things have changed and that I’m no longer dealing with childish situations. Everything I do now impacts my future and I have to get up and take charge.
To end this long and not brief post, this year will be all about my happiness, the people that do matter, and my education. I need to focus on myself especially, which i never do, and learn how to be content being all myself (relationship wise).
Farewell to 2010 and to the old me, and cheers to the new year and upgraded version of myself.
Maria A Rivera
