I’ve been taking things day by day, slowly. Which is great, don’t get me wrong, but I’m a woman that needs a plan. I’m a woman that needs to know and have things set for the future. Not planning out the entire days of my life, but having some sort of goal, something I need to accomplish. Like a list! I love lists, lists are wonderful. You write down what you need to do and then you do it whenever it is that time reaches you. But lately, lists haven’t been made, again, and things haven’t been accomplished, again. I’m tired of sitting through the days without a plan in mind, just laying there. I hate it. I’m still going to take things slowly and play it as it goes, but this time I’m going to know the lyrics.
Lately, I’ve been focusing on myself too much. What I want, how I feel, what I think I need. It was almost never like that. I never used to take into myself into consideration and I used to focus my time and attention on the rest. I’m starting to see the problem though, I’m always at an extreme, there’s never a balance or an in between of where I need to be. I need to focus on myself and give myself that time off, but I also need to think of all the individuals surrounding me and take them into consideration. I’m not the only one with emotions and troubles. I sometimes forget I’m not the only one that has a bad day or suddenly been struck with the blues.
I’m going to have an invisible chart and set some time individual bonding time for my mom, my sisters, my family, my friends, my main squeeze, and myself. No more sulking around letting the blues get the best of me, time must not be wasted. There is much needed to be done and I need to take the reigns of this horse.
I’m going into my senior year of high school, the last year of secondary school, the big 1-2…and I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to be doing. I’m behind on all these summer assignments, online school isn’t going anywhere, I have all these stacks of books waiting to be opened, there’s a list of movies I still need to watch, and I have no clue on what I’m doing for college. But I’m going to stop complaining and wondering and actually gonna do something about it. Little by little, everday, I’m going to do a little bit of everything. Maybe I’ll even start to sew again, its been awhile. And of course I’ll be able to do it! Why? Because I’m setting my mind to it. No more slacking off.
