hmm.

I’m extremely drained right now; emotionally, physically, mentally.

I’ll post later about everything that’s been going on.

onlineschoolonlineschoolonlineschool

Things are never gonna be perfect

I’ve got to accept that. They just never are. Something will always go wrong because conflict is apart of human nature. Right now, I have an exceptional mother, a wonderful boyfriend, an amazing family, incredible best friends (even though I haven’t talked to diana in the longest), great aquantainces and hopefully everything goes well in school <3

My dad’s not here, and that was his choice. But I didn’t make it any better by losing the effort to care. He’s a lost soul and hopefully someday he’ll come to his sense. I’ll always be here waiting for him, waiting for him to realize that he has a daughter, and a son out there, and that he needs to change. Not just for me, but for himself. Wherever it is that you are, I love you dad. I really do. We’ve had our ups and downs and I can’t help but still love you. After all you’re my dad and somewhere deep inside of you is a loving father, I just know it.

I’m so happy!!!!!!

I found my cousin Aury and Mila on facebook :D !!!!!!

Now we communicate and keep in touch and and and…

Maybe I can go to new york before christmas and see my cousins since Mila’s going up there…or after? Who knows but im so friggin’ excited :)

Oops

I realized that I show more affection and love towards my friends than my boyfriend.

.__________.

I’m so sorryyyyyyyyyy

I don’t know whats wrong with me. I love him, I do. My mindset is still on Strong-Single-Independent-Woman status. I don’t forget I’m not single anymore, but I sure as heck need to get it together before mah man starts noticing that I AM neglecting him in a way.

Balancing school + online school + college requirements + family + friends + boyfriend is no joke.

Why do I always put him last? He means so much to me, I need to get it together D:

I love you, and thank you for being so patient <3…so far

I’m so frustrated

And I want to cry. I want to stop everything. I want to go to bed. I want to eat a whole tub of ice cream without regret. I want to cry some more. I want to go to sleep. i want to pretend I don’t have to do anything.

…

I’m gonna go finish online school. ._.

collegecollegecollege

I MUST FOCUS ON SCHOOL.

FINISH DANG ONLINE SCHOOL.

HAUL ASS. HAUL ASS. HAUL ASS.

i feel like a football player…

._.

Is it too much to ask?

All I want is to go to college, get a good career, have a great job, travel the world, read many books, listen to all these genres and amazing talented musicians, eat lots of food, meet interesting people, wear comfortable clothes and shoes, and live a happy life full of self-love and God’s love.

That’s all I want.

Is it so wrong to want to try so many things?

I donated blood today for the first time today! It went great :D I was a little nervous at first and when I saw the needle I started to get nervous, but I didn’t feel a thing and I didn’t feel dizzy or anything. Alyssa almost passed out though, she turned super pale and started feeling nauseous. She was a trooper though :)

I don’t know why I feel the way I do. Sometimes I miss you, sometimes I wish you weren’t here. Sometimes I want to talk to you so badly, sometimes I want to be by myself.

I know we’re just young, but you have a strong feeling about us, more than I do. I wish I believed more in us, more in you.

Exactly. Exactly…

I heard what you said. I’m not the silly romantic you think. I don’t want the heavens or the shooting stars. I don’t want gemstones or gold. I have those things already. I want a steady hand, a kind soul. I want to fall asleep, and wake, knowing my heart is safe.

Shana Abé

I love you. I really do.

I’m a product of two people who have lost all sorts of affection for each other

Must.

Prof: Did God create everything?
Student: Yes!
Prof: If so, then God also created evil. Therefore, God is evil.
(A student stood up and ask)
Do dark exist sir?
Prof: Yes! It does.
Student: Dark doesn’t exist. Dark is only the absence of light. Just like evil, it is only the absence of God in human’s heart.

Ya feel me?

I look at all these people and I’m like damn, I need to get in shape.

But then I see food, and I’m like damn maybe tomorrow.

\m/

First-timer

I had my first kiss yesterday…several times :p

But I’m horrrrrrrrible D;

I love Mrs. Stuck

APUSH! I would go on this website every other day last year

Yuuup. It’s official :3

Should I have denied it or accepted it?

:p lol jk.

<3

God

“Home is whenever I’m with you”

I’m ready to come home. I’m ready to come back to you.

I love you so much sdflkjdkler please forgive me

10 points for my daddy!

And his way of cheering me up :D

Lol @ him watching disney channel when no ones home.

More Lol’s @ him talking to sylvester the cat every single morning

and last lawlz at him always saying something funny/mean about my mom and her sisters “grupo pies descalsos”

lol i feel better and hopefully now I can finish this dang report!

Lately

I’ve been taking things day by day, slowly. Which is great, don’t get me wrong, but I’m a woman that needs a plan. I’m a woman that needs to know and have things set for the future. Not planning out the entire days of my life, but having some sort of goal, something I need to accomplish. Like a list! I love lists, lists are wonderful. You write down what you need to do and then you do it whenever it is that time reaches you. But lately, lists haven’t been made, again, and things haven’t been accomplished, again. I’m tired of sitting through the days without a plan in mind, just laying there. I hate it. I’m still going to take things slowly and play it as it goes, but this time I’m going to know the lyrics.

Lately, I’ve been focusing on myself too much. What I want, how I feel, what I think I need. It was almost never like that. I never used to take into myself into consideration and I used to focus my time and attention on the rest. I’m starting to see the problem though, I’m always at an extreme, there’s never a balance or an in between of where I need to be. I need to focus on myself and give myself that time off, but I also need to think of all the individuals surrounding me and take them into consideration. I’m not the only one with emotions and troubles. I sometimes forget I’m not the only one that has a bad day or suddenly been struck with the blues.

I’m going to have an invisible chart and set some time individual bonding time for my mom, my sisters, my family, my friends, my main squeeze, and myself. No more sulking around letting the blues get the best of me, time must not be wasted. There is much needed to be done and I need to take the reigns of this horse.

I’m going into my senior year of high school, the last year of secondary school, the big 1-2…and I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to be doing. I’m behind on all these summer assignments, online school isn’t going anywhere, I have all these stacks of books waiting to be opened, there’s a list of movies I still need to watch, and I have no clue on what I’m doing for college. But I’m going to stop complaining and wondering and actually gonna do something about it. Little by little, everday, I’m going to do a little bit of everything. Maybe I’ll even start to sew again, its been awhile. And of course I’ll be able to do it! Why? Because I’m setting my mind to it. No more slacking off.

Jamaica/Grand Cayman Islands

I CAN’T EVEN…SDFLSDFJKLDJFKLER

Best trip EVER. I had an incredible time with my family, and this trip made me reconsider moving to Michigan for college. I love my family so much and its trips like this that made me realize that I wouldn’t want to spend months away in the cold without hearing from them. So much changes in a second, imagine in the time being away from them? I can’t do that to them or myself. My sisters are starting high school and so is Yoel. This is a crucial time in their lives and so many changes occur and I don’t want to be far away from them. I need them in my life, and I hope they need me to. Chris is starting the fourth grade and he’s a great kid, why would I push myself away from them? Not just them, but my mom too. All my friends, and possible future boyfriend?

I think I should stay here. Maybe Miami has more to offer than I thought…

You

I’m gonna stop being cocky and stop thinking about other “options”. You’re here right now and thats all that matters to me. I like you, a lot. I care about you and I would never hurt you on purpose. I’m sorry that I don’t express myself sometimes and that I don’t say whats on my mind, but I like you and I want you here right now.

I like that you don’t care what people think. I like the way you try to protect me. The way you try to be funny, which in the end is even funnier. Your cheesy jokes. The way you hold my hand and those random little kisses. Our last minutes we have together you usually spend it talking about something random. How you always try to make me laugh. Our super late late night conversations.

Why do I keep thinking of other guys when I have you right now, and you’re worthier than any guy I know. You may not be buff and tough, but I don’t need that to make me happy. I thought I did, but thats just physical and I shouldn’t care about any of that.

You make me happy. You’re the guy in my dreams. You’re the one that I miss late at night. You’re real. You’re here.

And again…

Virtual school is left behind.

This is bad…very bad. o.o