Say something.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Many things have happened lately:

  • Failed my CNA test. (Worst day of my life, what do you think.)
  • Gotten closer to Casey, yet I never know what to say around him, maybe I’m shy?
  • Went to Ft. Meyers Sunday and Monday and stayed at the cutest hotel/apartment. Walked on the beach at midnight as I talked to Casey, and woke up early to watch the sunrise on the beach <3 Spent time with my aunt/uncle and cousins and enjoyed almost every minute of it
  • Started my online calculus class…’nuff said.
  • Diana and I need to hang out, even though things keep getting in the way.
  • I want to go on a trip. Somewhere far? Perhaps with a beach? Or anywhere at all would be great.
  • My relationship with God is in rocky roads right now. I hate it, but I can’t seem to get out of this funk.
  • I want to do everything and nothing at the same time.
  • I told my aunt Luz about Casey and she’s more excited than mom. She even told me she was a little sad because I probably wouldn’t visit as much: NOT GONNA HAPPEN. She’s my second family, home away from home. <3
  • Shit happens, but life goes on and I must to.
  • My biological father has officially lost all respect from me.
  • MY GRANDMA’S BACK FROM MEXICO AND I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE HER
  • School needs to be over…

Sunday, May 22, 2011

bliiiissss

I'm so scared about the future and I wanna talk to you
Oh I wanna talk to you

I know Coldplay didn’t write the lyrics with the meaning that I’m singing it with, but its oh so great <3

Word of advice

 

Remember: Think long-term, plan carefully.

OH MAH DAMN JUST SHOOT ME NOW

I’M TRYING TO FUCKING FINISH THIS DAMN FIVE PAGE REPORT ON MY TOWN. WHY ARE YOU FUCKING YELLING? WHY IS EVERYONE IN MY HOUSE.

GET THE FUCK OUT. ALL OF YOU. O.O

This past week

Um…lots of things have been going on recently…lots ^.^

First of all, Casey and I are NOT dating…yet. We’re “talking” according to the definition provided by my dearest tranny Steph. I don’t even know. We stayed after school Tuesday to study for the SATs and we talked about random things, as we studied of course. Then when we finished he casually asked for my number :3 Yuuuuup. He was all “oh can I have your number? for the next time we study”. I wanted to say something witty like “oh my mother doesn’t allow me to give out my personal number” but since he always catches me off guard, I only managed to say “yea”, as simple as that. wuuuutevarrr. We’ve been texting ever since c: And he still finds me during lunch to have lunch together and he still opens doors for me and he still says cute things to me :) BUT…he can’t be perfect. He just can’t. THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH HIM. Or maybe he’s not as chivalrous as he seems and then if we do start dating…things will change. Change change change. Change like Florida’s bipolar weather, and thats what scares me. People always say and do one thing, and then end up doing something else. :/

But anyways, we’ve been talking. And his birthday’s on Tuesday :)

Yessenia and Casey decided to hang out at the movies on Friday and watch a movie, but he didn’t end up going cause of some issue with his parents :( But I had fun regardless with Sophie, Shelby, Yessenia and Valeria and the FACT THAT WE WATCHED THOR<3 After the movie we went to Starbucks and planned Casey’s surprise Shindig and hopefully its gonna be awesome! Then yesterday was a hectic day, hanging out at my aunts, fixing my room, buying all the things we needed with for the shindig with Yessenia…and I got out of bed at 12:30, just fabulous. But I was supposed to sleep over at Diana’s yesterday because we had planned it and her boyfriend had broken up with her and I didn’t. I also didn’t call her to tell her about what was going on, but not because I’m rude, because I knew she’d be mad and wouldn’t understand that I just couldn’t. But either way she’s REALLY REALLY REALLY MAD AT ME. REALLY REALLY REALLY MAD. I’m gonna give it a few hours for her to cool off, because in the end it is my fault, but I do feel horribly bad about it :/

I think I like him…a lot. :>

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

>.<

I hate that I’m so emotionally unstable. It ruins everything: my day, my mood, my happiness.

Monday, May 16, 2011

I hate this

I hate waiting for you to write back. I hate waiting for you to write back. I hate waiting for you to write back. I hate waiting for you to write back. I hate waiting for you to write back. I hate waiting for you to write back. I hate waiting for you to write back. I hate waiting for you to write back. I hate waiting for you to write back. I hate waiting for you to write back. I hate waiting for you to write back. I hate waiting for you to write back. I hate waiting for you to write back. I hate waiting for you to write back. I hate waiting for you to write back. I hate waiting for you to write back. I hate waiting for you to write back. I hate waiting for you to write back. I hate waiting for you to write back.

I HATE IT.

I have things to do, why am I wasting my time waiting around?

Oh yeah…cause I’m a dumb turkey.

Friday, May 13, 2011

IN OTHER NEWS..

Besides all the stupid sappy things I’ve been writing, I’M FINALLY DONE WITH AP TESTS!!!!!!! WOOT WOOT. May things turn out for the best!

Now I’m gonna dedicate some time to me myself and I, and possibly get Netflix back :P

But then I have my CNA test to study for and SATs and Calculus online…

My grandma’s coming though, so I’m really excited :D

Him

It feels like we’re taking our time, as if we know we have forever. I love to see your face, it just makes me all giddy inside. I always look away though, as if you see all the imperfections inside of me; I glance a look here and there.

I like that I feel so comfortable with you and that for the first time…its real. Not imaginary or a fantasy that I’ve made in my mind, but real.

I still can’t believe that it’s happening to me though, never would I have thought that this would happen to me…especially not this soon. I mean he opens doors for me, who does that anymore? And I don’t mean just opens it when we’re walking somewhere together, he walks me to my class and rushes a little to open the door for me.

I like you. I think I really do. Will this feeling last?

Monday, May 9, 2011

Looser

I feel like an idiot. Stupid. Moron. That I’m trying too hard when I shouldn’t be.

This is exactly what I didn’t wanna get like.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Him

He likes me XD Well, he didn’t tell me, but Anabel did. And Shelby never fails to remind me, lol. I was in such a good mood when I walked home today; the weather was perfect: cloudy, breezy, no sun and about to rain, just how i like it.

I called Ana and Diana and told them about it, and then I texted Stephanie, but thats it. What if you change your mind? Or what If I do? I have the tendency to like a guy or be interested in a guy for a week or two and then move on.

I don’t really know how I feel about you yet, I’m really confused. Am I just interested because you are? Or do I like the feeling of getting lost in your eyes?

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Him

I don’t wanna like you. I don’t wanna like you. I don’t wanna like you.

I DON’T WANNA LIKE YOU.

But I can’t seem to help myself. You laugh at all the stupid things I say and I can be myself and no one else around you. I can act like a fool and you’ll just smile and make it alright..but…this is really bad timing. Or the perfect timing?

I don’t know.

I told my mom about you and she told me to take caution, as always. You just never know who someone really is.

I don’t wanna like you. I don’t wanna like you. I don’t wanna like you.

Monday, May 2, 2011

ap environmental test, done. only three more to go…

The test wasn’t THAT bad, if I had studied. The Shelbs and I studied this past weekend, the fun way of course lol. OH AND I HAD FRO-YO (frozen yogurt) FOR THE FIRST TIME AND IT WAS EXTREMELY DELICIOUS. NONFAT ORGANIC LICHY AND COOKIES AND CREAM. WHO WOULDA THUNK IT TASTED SOOOOO GOOD. BETTA DEN ICE CREAM!!!!

Anyways, yep, Shelby and I studied at the library and her house on sunday. Some of the things we studied were on the test (like Minamata bay disease!) and the rest wasn’t…haha. Hopefully I do better on my next tests.

Shelbs and I are gonna start staying after school the rest of the week to study for our AP us history test. Let us hope I pass it with at LEAST a 3, although I’m aiming for a 4, but who isn’t?

BTW, Homeboy’s talking to me again. Hopefully this madness stops –_-